Saturday, November 24, 2012

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You



I went to a Christian college, and there was an undercurrent of God as a micro-manager there. As in, "I'm sorry I was late for class, but God made all the lights red. Probably to keep me out of a fatal car accident. So don't mark me tardy, 'kay!"

Personally I see God as more distantly involved, able to intervene, but mostly not. I believe God lets us stumble along, slowly finding our way, giving us chances to pick each other up.

So when a coincidence happens, I have a hard time knowing what to call it. Serendipity? A lucky happening? A God thing? Grace?

I spent the better part of this morning in quiet stillness. I sat in my chair and read emails and posts I had bookmarked. I read a prompt to write a letter of thanks to myself for showing up this past year, even when (especially when) things were hard, and I did. Because I am so, so thankful that a fighter part of myself decided to crawl out from under the dark covers and live.

Then I thought about five minute Fridays and how I enjoy those posts in my blog feed. Maybe I should do that one day, I thought. I clicked over to Lisa-Jo's site, and what was the prompt?

Thank YOU.

Once again I feel blown off my feet by life. Like it is just so big-small-beautiful-crushingly good. What words are there to say except thank you, thank you, thank you.


Dear Lovely,

I am thankful today for the leaps, jump after jump taken off mountains large and small. You knew, I think, that there was a better way to live. Or maybe not. Maybe you just knew to stay in the cold, thin air was to die. You flung yourself out without seeing which arms would catch you. You were brave enough to change your life

This is why I am thankful. Because now I see that tears and racing heart and sweaty palms are not only part of the leap, but also of the before. It all hurts. To stay freezing, forehead pressed to bathroom floor. To leap into the unknown spaces of yourself. It all hurts, but now when I open my eyes I no longer see blurred black and white tiles. I see only clouds and blue, blue sky.


I'm linking up with today with Lisa and Sandra and Jennifer and Rachel.

8 comments:

  1. just love your honest thoughts put to words...(cute blog too) your new follower ...blessings Nicole At Seven Flowers

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    1. Welcome Nicole. I'm so glad you're here!

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  2. This is so original and special! THANK YOU for reminding us to be thankful for the special person our Pappa has made us individually to be. Each and everyone with an own set of fingerprints. What a Creator our Pappa is!
    Lovely Xmas to you!
    Mia

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    1. This is such an encouraging g comment. Thank you for your words. They were a gift to me.

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  3. I am so thankful for another year with you and I am amazed by the changes that have and are taking place within you. I still remember where, when, and why you took the picture that's with this post and that's one of the reasons that I love you the most.

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    1. I love you. This moment will always stand out to me.

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  4. What a beautiful idea-a letter of thank you to ourselves!

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    1. Thank you Kat. We are worth celebrating!

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